6 Months of the New Work-Life Balance
- Atiya Hasan
- Jan 1, 2021
- 4 min read
As we near 6 months of the pandemic, I figured I would talk a little about what this time has meant for me — as a woman, as a mother, as a full-time employee. (While I won't try to speak for all the women currently powering their way through this crisis, I only aim to speak for myself. I recognize that I am privileged to have the ability to work remotely and the flexibility to schedule my day as needed. I also am not trying to brush over the pain and suffering during the pandemic.)
In case you didn't know, my daughter was 3.5 months when the shutdown started back in March. I was barely coming out of my maternity leave and gearing up to go full-time back to the office. I also have twin boys that are 11 months older than her, so 15.5 months at the time in March. Reasonably, I panicked when the shutdown started and packed them all up in our SUV and moved into my parents' house in Houston for what turned out to be 4.5 months. Both of my parents work - my mom is a public school teacher, and my dad is a lab tech who continued going into work every single day possible during these last few months. As my mom's summer vacation was coming to a close in early August, my husband and I decided that it was time for us to return to our little 2-bedroom apartment in San Antonio and figure out life on our own with 3 kids under 2 years.
So, currently, we are a family of two working parents living in a 2-bedroom apartment and caring for our 3 kids under 2 and NO OUTSIDE HELP (unless you count Walmart Delivery because where has that been my entire life!). Does that sound as crazy to you as it would've pre-pandemic?
Despite what anyone may think, the 5 of us are flourishing. I am bonding with my children in ways that would have never been possible if they were still in daycare 10 hours/day. I have the added comfort and peace of mind knowing they're all safe, right here next to me. I kiss and hug them in between meetings. My daughter sits in my lap during most meetings and will giggle if I tap her cheek with my pen as I take notes. On days that the boys get too crazy, we have a few Cocomelon marathons to calm them down. Sometimes, I feel guilty about their TV consumption, but I make up for it by cooking them a good, healthy dinner and reading a bunch of books.
But this post isn't meant to be about them. Because, honestly, we won't know for years how these Coronials will be affected by the pandemic in the long term. This crisis is expected to affect working moms the most. It is causing women to leave the workforce in droves due to the disproportionate amount of domestic work that is expected from them. This will set back the many gender gap challenges women have overcome in the past few generations. Employers are also expected to become pickier about employing women who also have to juggle domestic duties (1).
For us, it definitely took time to fine-tune our routines and come to a balance of our domestic and professional workloads, but lately, I've been comparing myself to the pre-pandemic me, and I am amazed. I have MORE energy now and am more present. Interactions with friends and family, even each other, are just that — interactions. I don't have a mental list constantly going about all the things I need to get done before bedtime. I don't get frustrated when the kids wake up crying at 2 AM or 4 AM because I don't have to worry about waking up insanely early to factor in commuting to work. I also wake up more relaxed since a barrage of questioning thoughts don't flood my mind from the moment my feet hit the ground (What do I wear? What should the kids wear? Do they need more diapers? Should I send more snacks just in case we're late to pick them up? What do I eat for breakfast? Lunch? Do I need to pack anything extra? Did I wash my breast pump parts last night? Do the kids have clean bottles? And so on.)
Cooking used to be a dreaded chore that I begrudgingly did. These days, my husband and I have taken to trying out new and old (family) recipes, just because. We don't really watch much TV anymore, either. I imagine our previous consistent TV habits used to be a means of escape from the already fast-paced and tiresome life we had. We've also been investing in our family and building our tiny apartment to be a home. We no longer try to get by without stuff that we could probably use. The justification used to be that we were barely home, so why spend money on something that won't get much use out of it? Now, we'll splurge on those things and are actually able to put them to good use (hello new countertop convection oven!).
Here's the kicker though, I'm also way more productive. I've been able to meet all my work-related deadlines without a problem. In May, I founded a student organization for MBA students and alumni and currently serve as its VP. Since June, I've been doubling up on my course load for my MBA. I taught myself Tableau. I started writing again (this article is proof). I've completed a couple of EdX courses on data visualization in healthcare. I've submitted a poster to the AMA. I've kicked off a side hustle. I've started reading again for the joy of it. And there's probably a lot more that I can't think of right now.
This change tells me that the way our lives had been functioning previously was a remnant of an archaic way of life. The pandemic has shed light on some of our weakest pain points and, I hope, we will continue to undo the rigidity that has been holding women back from functioning at their absolute best.
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